Step One
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Please share your experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Step 1. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
I have been in Al-Anon many years, and it has helped me tremendously in dealing with family and life. I just began working the steps with a focus on my marriage. My husband is the son and father of alcoholics, although he is not an alcoholic. He has a different addiction and no program. I am powerless over that. I am scared about working the steps with my sponsor, focusing on my marriage. But I am very hopeful too because working the steps, traditions and concepts has been so transformative to my life and attitudes and general hopefulness. My sponsor… Read more »
Thank you for your comment. By attending Al-Anon meetings addressing the concerns of parents of alcoholics, you may find more members in the group(s) you attend share about their experiences with similar situations. Consider using the filters on the meeting locator page to choose Parents meetings: https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/find-an-al-anon-meeting/. Many members also ask other members to become their Sponsor, someone with whom you can share personal details and struggles and receive program ideas to help on a one to one basis. Learning more about the disease aspect of alcoholism through the experiences of other members may help understand how our relationships are… Read more »
New to group. Was estranged from my child for 6 years and she has now called. I see that I am powerless over alcohol, but she said she is in a sober living community. I don’t understand her need to hurt people or to keep it a secret that she talks to me and my husband. I don’t want to mess up any recovery, but she has been quite hurtful and wanting to blame her problems on me and everyone else. How do I continue to stay in her life if I am now the one that suffers her wrath?… Read more »
Step one means I’m powerless over the other person, and that I’m unmanageable. It relieves me of the responsibility of another person’s behavior. What I am responsible for are my actions. I can’t blame my behavior on another person. I take responsibility for myself: financial, spiritual, emotional and mental.
I went to see my qualifier today. He’s very ill and has recently undergone life-altering surgery. I feel powerless over his current illness and also a lot of sadness that his life has turned out the way it did. I want him to know that I love him and that I forgive him. I understand. Though it’s hard for me to say the words out loud, I hope my actions recently speak for themselves. I have reconnected with him and try to maintain an “open line” as opposed to shutting him out. I also know that I am still dealing… Read more »
I am going to visit my dad today who is my qualifier. I have reconnected with him more over the phone since I started going to Al-Anon meetings because my anxiety about interacting with him has subsided a bit. However, I still feel a bit anxious about going to see him in person. Especially because the house where he lives is where my worst childhood memories are from. Today, I am reminding myself: Let Go and Let God. I hope our meeting goes well, I hope that I am able to manage my reactions triggers. AND also today, my motto… Read more »
I felt broken, betrayed and lifeless when I joined this group, I feel my partner is moving away from me but I see a hope now.
Although, I have been in the program for a few 24 hours, Step One is always my “go to” when I feel some discomfort or/and I am starting to feel out of sort. Step One brings me to see that somehow I am powerless over someone or something and I am not ready to see it or accept it. If I don’t stop in my tracks, my life soon becomes unmanageable. When I first came to the program, I felt that my life was quite manageable: I paid my rent, I worked, I kept my house clean, etc., but I… Read more »
I walk back into the rooms of Al-Anon after years of walking away full of shame and brokenness, but that is exactly where I needed to be to regain perspective of the depth of my disease and stop blaming others, and it was only through accepting the first step in all areas of my life.
I haven’t been to Al-Anon meetings in a while. I came back today, because my heart hurts, my arm is kind of numb, and I cannot cry. I feel like I’m a doll just moving because somehow, I have to move. Clearly, I have no control over my life, I feel powerless. I had an argument with my husband a couple days ago, where a boundary was crossed. It has been crossed many times, but this time I was not going to take it. I feel useless, but at the same time I’m a person that has learned to keep… Read more »
I am at the very first step of Step One. I decided today I need to attend Al-Anon meetings. My first will be tomorrow, by His grace. I am indeed powerless over alcohol and its effects on the alcoholic and its impact on my loved ones. I give over the need for control. The need to try this. The need to say that. The need to change anything. I cannot change anything. I am not the Holy Spirit. I will pray. I will lay the burdens at the feet of Jesus. I will surrender. And I will admit to my… Read more »
As a child of an alcoholic, I fought this feeling all my life not realizing I had a choice. Step One was a gift to me, redefining what it means to feel powerless. I love the feeling now. I don’t have to fix or solve anyone’s problems. Letting go feels better than holding on for dear life with no control, just forcing my will.
Step One: Admitted that I’m powerless is the first step for the rest of my life. As I walk, I need to put one foot in front of the other; if I do not, then I will never move from where I am standing. In the same way, if I do not take Step one for my own wellbeing then I will never move anywhere to find joy and fulfillment in my life. Once I started with Step One, now I can finish taking this Step in order for me to take the next step in my own great emotional… Read more »
I am at Step 1 even though I been in Al-Anon for around 10 years. I am powerless, but some days I am at the realization and some days I am not. I keep on coming back, and I know it works if I work it.
The word “unmanageable” resonates so much with me. For me, this is feeling constantly behind, late, overwhelmed, mentally struggling about the [alcoholic], stressed. And I looked at other “normal” people and became jealous of how easy it seems to be for them. I have gone through feelings of “it’s not fair”, but at this point, I’ve come to realize that I am just not in control of the [alcoholic], and only in control of me. I CAN remove myself and my kids from this situation. I CANNOT control the addiction of another person. And that is a feeling of power… Read more »
As a long time Al-Anon member, I recently relocated to out-of-state to “age out” affordably and each of the 12 Steps guided my path along the way – Step 1 – I became aware I had no option to find affordable senior housing and future assisted living in my NE State of origin residence as a divorced female renter with no children or siblings. I faced semi-retirement/retirement with anger over how [there was no effective support] for the need for future senior housing some 30 years earlier. I had to admit that the lack of housing concern made me feel… Read more »
I’m having spells of PTSD symptoms that’s making it hard to realize that I’m not a problem – my family is. I’ve gone to 2 meetings, one last night. I deeply think I’m broken as a person and also know I have a phd in clinical neuropsychology. I think I’m going crazy all the time, and am a victim of family scapegoat abuse. I know I’m not alone in all factual sense but I’m an adult and need my late grandma’s lap to lay on. I just took a rescue medication to take a nap, so I can finish my… Read more »
I feel like I am on an emotional rollercoaster of…how can I help him…why isn’t it working…how much more can I take…and do I even stay in this situation? I know the reality is that I am powerless, yet I spend an enormous amount of time and effort trying to manage it…it affects my kids, my work, my other relationships…my faith in God is strong, so why can’t I let this go and surrender it to God the same way I am asking him to? Seems hypocritical to not be able to lean on faith when I so badly want… Read more »
Ya…. I’m powerless over alcohol and my life had indeed become unmanageable. But I have hope that things will get better if I follow these Steps!
I am powerless over alcohol… and just about everything else in my life except my own response. Often I’m even powerless over my own feelings! I feel sad, overwhelmed, angry, afraid. So often afraid. I can choose to let those feelings overcome me. I can choose to react, to try to control, to try to “help” by taking over and pretending other people do not have or do not deserve autonomy. On the other hand, I can choose to pause, to recognize and honor my emotions, and turn them over to my Higher Power. I can send a prayer into… Read more »