Step One
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Please share your experience, strength, and hope as it relates to Step 1. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future Al‑Anon publications.
I had felt so powerless over the cute boss’s drinking problem that my life was unmanageable. I had to learn how to focus on my job and how to stay away from the cute boss. I had to do so much self-care and worry about saving money and keeping my two jobs, and fighting to pass my online school to get lisenced to sell mortgage insurance to make more income. I had to worry about being the best mother that I could be to my three-year-old son. And to fight to win my case to adopt a little girl, a… Read more »
I am absolutely powerless over alcohol. I have no control whatsoever over it. It has taken me the better part of 15 years to realize that. If I had any control or power over it, my life would not be like how it is today. I thought the more I fixed problems or tried to control outcomes would bring the drinking to an end. I was wrong, and the issues only continued to get worse and the more my life became unmanageable, and my marriage became unmanageable. I no longer want to live in that cycle anymore. As much as… Read more »
I am POWERLESS.
If I wasn’t, what I tried in the past would have worked.
I am powerless over the alcoholic’s drinking and thinking, as well as my adult daughters’. When I start questioning their choices and decisions, the spiral of wanting to fix and control begins to envelop me. It is critical to my serenity to take the First Step daily, reminding myself of my powerlessness and firmly replacing judgmental thoughts by focusing on the acceptance and unconditional love that this program is based upon.
I felt so powerless over the cute boss’s drinking problem that my life was unmanageable. I wanted to have contact with him but I could not because if I did I would lose my job. I had to be strong and do the right thing even though it hurt. I learned how to be the best mother possible to my son and how to keep busy and do tons of self-care.
Today, I love the first word pointed out in my first meeting: We – an incredible spiritual word of belonging. What I only knew as fear and helplessness became the nods of acceptance by those welcoming me to a new way of living.
I didn’t want to admit I was powerless. To me, it meant I was giving up, that I was weak, and that the disease had won. But there came a time when I knew I no longer had a choice. My life was so unmanageable that I truly believed I could no longer live this way. I was exhausted mentally and physically. I was consumed with anger, sadness, fear, and I felt alone and betrayed. Once I became acquainted with Al-Anon, I no longer felt like I was giving up. It’s not giving up; it’s a choice to accept help… Read more »
When I first came to Al-Anon I strongly resisted Step One. I was very stubborn and self-righteous, so the word powerless didn’t sit well with me. That my life had become unmanageagble was even more insulting. I wanted to tell them at each meeting that I managed my life very well, thank you!!! It took me a while to come to my senses, but life and my Higher Power took care of showing me the importance of this Step. Today, Step One is my “go to” as soon as I feel discomfort in my heart and soul and that my… Read more »
I may not like the choices of other people, especially my siblings and kids, but I am powerless over their behaviors. I can drop in nuggets of what works for me and that’s it. It’s too easy to get distracted by the thoughts of my worry and resentments, and then I don’t keep the focus on me. I lose my spirituality and connection to HP. Then I’m not so fun to be around. My sense of humor is the first to go and I love that about me! Help me, God, to hold onto myself and keep my side of… Read more »
January is my anniversary month. It’s the month when I take a little time to reflect on my spiritual progress. It all began with Step 1! I had hit a huge emotional bottom approximately two years before I stumbled through the doors of my first meeting. My life was completely unmanageable. I was in the darkest depression I had ever known. I was greeted and welcomed with open arms even though I thought I was an imposter and didn’t belong. Nobody asked me to explain why I was there. I sat in a chair outside the circle and listened for… Read more »
I found my way to my first Al-Anon meeting when my stepson’s addiction to opiates – and his mother and father’s refusal to stop enabling him – had driven me to my knees in desperation. Somehow I understood that I was powerless over my stepson’s addiction. What I did not understand is that I was completely powerless over my husband and his ex-wife’s enabling his addiction! It has been over 16 years since this all started, but back in 2011, when I first found Al-Anon, it was the day after I heard my husband say, “You hate my son!” because… Read more »
I think Step One is the beginning of a wonderful journey. For so many years my struggle was beating me down. I felt useless, helpless, and worthless because I thought the alcoholic was choosing alcohol over me. I tried so hard to make him see how important I was and was heartbroken when he didn’t. No threats, no ultimatums, no silent treatments made any difference to this person. Alcohol was the most important thing in his life. He could live without me, but not without alcohol. Or so he thought. My life changed the moment I gave up. I cried… Read more »
I am powerless over alcohol. My Dad’s life, and his death, were based on the choices he made, I had nothing to do with it and I couldn’t stop it. I wish it didn’t hurt so bad though, I think that would make the process a little easier, but who really knows. He made his choices, he was powerless over alcohol too and it took his life.
I admit that I am powerless over my husband’s drinking. He relapsed after 10 yrs sober and I admit that I am powerless whether he is drinking or not. I need to heal my reactions to current and past behaviours and to fears of the future as a result of alcoholism. I admit that my entire childhood was surrounded with dysfunction and “isms” that I have developed my own behaviours that can no longer live with. I surrender to a god of my understanding to help me find my way from living in my own anxiety and fear and self-doubt… Read more »
I admit I am powerless over alcohol and my life has become unmanageable. I am the daughter of an alcoholic, a sister of a drug addict, and a wife of an alcoholic and gambler. I have no power over alcohol or any addictions. What I do have power of is myself. After 55 years, I have finally chosen to make a change for myself. All of my loved ones who are addicted to substances or behaviours to mask problems in their lives are not caused by me and cannot be changed by me. I can only change my behaviours and… Read more »
I admit I am powerless over my wife’s addiction to alcohol. I cannot ever make her happy enough to stop. I cannot stop the urge she has. I cannot always keep her busy and entertained and try and stop her being bored. I cannot change or understand the abuse and misery she has had in her life. I wish we didn’t have alcohol in our lives. She relapsed after 10 bright happy weeks. I found out by accident, and it was so painful and brought out the absolute worst of my character. She lied to me, to my face after… Read more »
I admit that I am powerless over alcohol, and a host of other things, and my life has become unmanageable. I am realizing that people will not be better or happier or anything-ier “because” of me. I cannot just tell someone what to do and how to do it and be heard. No matter how “right” I am. And I cannot make people “hear” me no matter how much I yell. I deceive myself to believe that I can stop injustice and stop pain and I often don’t realize I’m “doing it again” until things are chaotic. As for alcoholism,… Read more »
I am powerless over alcohol and others. I am learning that I have a lot of issues related to my past and people who abused alcohol. However, I never took control of my self. That is what I wish to do. I am powerless over others and their choice to drink. I am in control of me.
At a young age I joined alateen
At that time I took this first step and I admitted that I was powerless against my mother’s alcoholism. Now coming back into Al-Anon I take this first step again and say my life has become unmanageable with my mother’s and fathers alcoholism. I give myself boundaries between having a relationship with my parents and knowing that I am worthy of a less chaotic life and my needs need to come first.
I am powerless over my partners drinking. I know this but I cannot accept it in my heart. I keep trying to find reasons to stay because I don’t want to start over again. I’m afraid of the loss. I’m afraid of losing the joy and love that exists when he’s sober but he never stays sober for long. He’s in and out of rehab. He stays sober in rehab, follows the process but in two or three weeks he goes back to drinking and the chaos and misery starts over again. The lies, the disappearing, the shouting matches and… Read more »