At my first meeting I was angry. I had been ordered to attend meetings and thought I didn’t need to go. I sat in my first few meetings with my arms folded across my chest thinking, “What do these people have in common with me?”
Then we read pages 28 and 29 of How Al‑Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics (B-32). I sat up in my chair, uncrossed my arms and listened for the first time. “We lose the ability to say ‘no.’” That did it. I realized the people in the meeting were just like me. They did understand my struggles. Now I look forward to meetings. Those strangers are now friends, even the newcomers.
By Misty C., California
The Forum, May 2021
Feel free to reprint this article on your service arm website or newsletter, along with this credit line: Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al‑Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.
I have an adult son. He is 32 years old and is an alcoholic. He has been in jail and makes accusations and conflict towards me. I see his appetite decreases. My son lives with me. I don’t know what to do anymore.
I have been in Al-Anon for 2 years. It has truly saved my life. It supports me as a wife and a mother… having a Sponsor is a godsend! I have gotten so much stronger because of her and the program! I attend meetings weekly, used to be in person, now on Zoom! Keeping coming back… It works ♥️
I’m newly married after being together for 9 years just finding out how bad his drinking is. He got sent to rehab and has replaced me with his new rehab family. Has women sending selfies and calling. I can’t take much more heatbreak. How am i supposed to deal with this
Been dealing with the alcoholic for 33 years, I’m just so tired. Tired of watching him kill himself with alcohol and lack of not eating every night. Tired of the different levels of emotional abuse every night. At the beginning of every day I wonder when did I get so weak and pathetic.
My husband’s an alcoholic and I love him, but it is stressing out my life, I feel I’m so consumed by his there is nothing left of me. I ordered some books, made a therapy appointment, talked with him drunk and sober. Neither one of us is happy, but we love each other. There are sober great moments in our life, that’s what I live for, I’m afraid to be alone, and I’m afraid without me watching over him he will end up in jail or dead. I’ve never tried this group online thing before either. We have been together… Read more »
I am a newcomer, my brother is an alcoholic and wants to continue drinking and doesn’t admit he is an alcoholic. He says other people drink more than him. He is homeless now and he can not live with me and my family. I don’t know what to do. I have helped him out a lot but I am not an ATM machine. It breaks me heart, but my daughter is afraid of him because he is unpredictable. They cut his SSI income. […] I don’t know what to do but if he doesn’t stop drinking, I can’t help him.
I am very interested in this group. My biological father is an alcoholic, that’s probably where it started. My fiancé and father of my son is an alcoholic. We’ve been together 9 years, I use to drink with him. When I got pregnant with our son I immediately quit drinking and never went back to it. He has never quit drinking. I’m living in a cycle I never wanted to part of. He’s not physically abusive but verbally. I want our son to have both his parents but I don’t know how much more I can take. Just looking for… Read more »
Just trying to understand? Is this possible?
My reaction is why do I have to Attend meetings she is the one ruining all of our lives! How do I understand why it seems they chose the wrong decisions over my family!
These posts help so much. My sister is an alcoholic who has dabbled with treatment but as you said always says the right thing, what she thinks you want to hear. Her liver has been compromised and she almost needed a liver transplant. She lived with my husband and I for two months for a place to heal and try IOP. She was drinking on the sly within two weeks. She moved out to a sober house 2 months ago but all the signs say she is drinking. Her eyes are jaundicing again and she is not eating. But what… Read more »
I am a person of extremes. When I learned I could say NO, I became a raving HELL NO person. As I continue my journey, I can calmly say no without any explanation.