I am terrified and yet so curious as to how I can help my best friend, mother of our son as well as our fur babies. I have listened to others speak and I have to say that I am so welcoming any help, and praying for the hope and life that I can possibly give to the person I love so much. I understand that I am NOT responsible for the alcoholic’s decisions although I need to NOT be the enabler! I can turn my “STUFF” over to my Higher Power. I need to hear that I am NOT… Read more »
Nipper
1 year ago
My dad 83 years old is an alcoholic. He drinks all hours. Makes excuses to why he needs a drink. Not in good health. Health professionals tell him he needs to cut down, but he thinks he knows best. I buy his whiskey with his money. Do I keep buying it for him. What do I do?
Carolyn
1 year ago
I’m going to my first Al-Anon meeting two days from now. I have doubts about whether I belong at Al-Anon because the alcoholic in my family was my grandfather, a man I never even met. He and his son, my father, are both dead and gone and I’ll be 70 in just a few months. So all that happened in my family of origin seems like ancient history now. Yet, I still suffer from the effects of growing up with a parent who was an adult child of an alcoholic. As a young person, my father was badly mistreated by my grandfather and (understandably)… Read more »
Celia
3 years ago
Well. All substances are bad. I married my 3rd husband & like #2 he’s a ADDICT. Meth & Weed. At this point something about me trying to fix men is the real issue. I was raised by alcoholics and that figures. I am use to being around sick people. Well after being with this guy for 6 years; separated 1 of those 6 years! He is still using and comes and goes as he pleases. I took him back this fall and the same addictive behavior. Worst. I am in the process of waiting on my retirement and a school… Read more »
Teri
4 years ago
I am so […] Tired. My husband’s Drinking is out of Control. For the last 6 months he has been Drunk every […] Day. It’s gotten worse since he has been laid off. I feel like I am drowning. He says the most mean and disgusting things. He says I am the reason he drinks. I am afraid he’s going to drink himself to Death.
I hate when he starts yelling and being mean. I then feed off of his anger and say the most Hurtful things I can think of. I feel so Defeated.
FAA
4 years ago
Hi my husband is an alcoholic. He deals with depression and anxiety. I have spent many years making excuses for his behavior, working full time and being both mother and father to our sons. I am becoming tired, weary and especially lonely. Our household is no longer joyful and I feel like a failure because our marriage is falling apart. I am hoping that finding some outside support will allow me to find a way to not blame myself for his drinking and not feel responsible for the decisions he makes. He doesn’t understand that he is missing out on… Read more »
Jennie
4 years ago
Hi I live with my 12 year old son and my husband that’s an alcoholic, both me and my son are disabled so this makes it harder it’s getting too much to deal with my husband drinking every day 18 cans maybe cider too. I have really bad depression as well as anxiety issue my son’s autism and anxiety to this is getting too much to deal with my husband drinking day in day out. I can’t do this no more. I feel he’s hiding in around house stealing money to buy it, puts cans all over the house it’s… Read more »
Lucy
4 years ago
I am not sure why I am here but, I trust the person who thinks it may help. My son was an episodic drinker and was dependent on pot for years.
Melissa
4 years ago
My husband of 28 years is an alcoholic. He is fully functional, a good provider, successful business owner, and thinks he is more fun when he drinks. We have been to different counselors and discussed his drinking problem many times over the past 15 years. At this point in time he does not admit any problem with the amount he drinks, since it’s just beer, and he drinks about 8 beers most nights. I have told him I don’t like his personality when he drinks, and don’t want to be around him, so we don’t sleep together, and don’t have… Read more »
Patricia
4 years ago
My roommate is an alcoholic. I finally see where I cannot control how much she drinks. I hid it from everyone though I think people suspected it. I didn’t know much about alcoholism since nobody in my immediate family drinks so I didn’t see the signs as troublesome at first. I became resentful over time, and a friend of mine whom I just met told me about Al-Anon, so I attended. I realize that I have to let her do what she does and I have to take care of myself. It’s complicated because I have been a caregiver all… Read more »
Glynnis
5 years ago
My husband is an alcoholic. He has always liked drinking but over the years it has got worse. He used to only drink one night, now every night he drinks to oblivion. He started drinking at 5pm, then 4pm & 1.30. I just saw him open a bottle at 11.30am I’ve tried to discuss this but he’s not interested. I’m at my wits end. He’s not violent but can be sarcastic when he’s been drinking.
Van
5 years ago
This is my first time on this site and I would like to believe a higher power led me to my first step (meeting coming up tomorrow) but I’m struggling between the thought that the drinking will stop and or get better with my husband and the need to control the outcome. I feel exhausted, frustrated, and I’m angry at myself for not having that control to stop it. I need some help and thankfully even though I’m [very] scared to go to the meeting tomorrow I am going to take this first step towards healing and becoming a better… Read more »
Andrea
6 years ago
I’ve been told by so many people that I need to check into Al-Anon. I’ve been resistant because I was angry that I, ME, the one without the addiction, would be required to do 12 Steps. Why should I have to “be punished”? Well, I am finally open to the idea. So here I am, trying to figure out where to start, which meeting to go to. I am just going to pick one and go. Baby steps… My husband and I have been married 8 years this month. Dated 4 years before that. He’s such a good person. A… Read more »
Karla
6 years ago
I have been married for 13 years and dated my husband for 3 years before marriage. In the beginning he drank occasionally but always to excess. He was not mean then and was usually fun. He’s a functioning alcoholic. His drinking progressed over the years until he no longer has a job and has not worked for several years. I have never thought I could make him quit or get better in anyway. I went through therapy many years ago for myself before I met my h husband and I understand I can only work on and be in charge… Read more »
Shirley
6 years ago
I have been wanting to go to Al-Anon for a long time now. My problem is that my husband usually starts drinking the minute he gets home from work (he hides vodka in garage and drinks it in garage before coming in and thinks I do not know but I do) and he is usually very drunk by 6:30 pm. I have 3 small children and I feel they will not be safe in the home with him drunk. He is not physically abusive but he has been short tempered with them when drunk, and I am always there to… Read more »
Kris
6 years ago
I’ve never been to an Al-Anon meeting but I think it might help me. I feel very alone. My son is addicted to drinking and smoking pot. They have a new baby 3 months old and he kicked his girlfriend out with the baby after drinking a bottle. She sat in her car for hours and said she might move out. She smelled like pot last week when I picked her up. My son is 30 and this has been going on to a certain degree for 10 yrs. He is excluding me from his life and saying mean, horrible… Read more »
Carol E.
13 years ago
Hi. My name is Carol and I have been a very grateful and long time member of Al-Anon. I came to Al-Anon to find out how to get my husband, at the time, sober. I wanted desperately to save my marriage and would have done anything to save it. They told me not to make any major decisions in my life for 1 year, that my thinking would change. After 10 months in the program I knew I had to save myself. I kept asking when would I know was the right time to take action. They kept telling me,… Read more »
Unsupportive?
13 years ago
My fiance and I have been together seven years. He’s an alcoholic and went into rehab a few days ago. The place he went to does family counseling and Al-Anon stuff, but I’m really not interested in this. I don’t want to go to counseling and I don’t want to sit through their “educational classes”. I’m a psychology student and know quite a bit about addiction.
So, how bad is it that I don’t want to do this? I don’t want to be the un-supportive partner, but I seriously just get angry thinking about having to do this stuff.
barb
14 years ago
I recognized my sickness as being codependent. I know it’s time to let the alcoholic do what he’s going to, whether he hits bottom and gets help or not. It’s not my burden to carry anymore.
I suffer from anxiety attacks, I don’t sleep, and I feel sick to my stomach daily. I am stressing my heart, shortening my life, and limiting my quality of life. My kids deserve better.
Al-Anon is the way that I can heal and also help others heal.
kmb
14 years ago
My daughter is a 30 year old addict. I love her very much, but her addiction controls our lives. It might be simple to cut her off, but the twist to all this is she has 3 beautiful children, my grandchildren; a 6 year old daugher and twin 19 month old boys, and she lives with me. There are also two different fathers involved, neither of which would be someone who I would want to raise my grandchildren. She lies, she steals money from me, her money “disappears”. I am depressed, and find myself hating to come home from work… Read more »
I am terrified and yet so curious as to how I can help my best friend, mother of our son as well as our fur babies. I have listened to others speak and I have to say that I am so welcoming any help, and praying for the hope and life that I can possibly give to the person I love so much. I understand that I am NOT responsible for the alcoholic’s decisions although I need to NOT be the enabler! I can turn my “STUFF” over to my Higher Power. I need to hear that I am NOT… Read more »
My dad 83 years old is an alcoholic. He drinks all hours. Makes excuses to why he needs a drink. Not in good health. Health professionals tell him he needs to cut down, but he thinks he knows best. I buy his whiskey with his money. Do I keep buying it for him. What do I do?
I’m going to my first Al-Anon meeting two days from now. I have doubts about whether I belong at Al-Anon because the alcoholic in my family was my grandfather, a man I never even met. He and his son, my father, are both dead and gone and I’ll be 70 in just a few months. So all that happened in my family of origin seems like ancient history now. Yet, I still suffer from the effects of growing up with a parent who was an adult child of an alcoholic. As a young person, my father was badly mistreated by my grandfather and (understandably)… Read more »
Well. All substances are bad. I married my 3rd husband & like #2 he’s a ADDICT. Meth & Weed. At this point something about me trying to fix men is the real issue. I was raised by alcoholics and that figures. I am use to being around sick people. Well after being with this guy for 6 years; separated 1 of those 6 years! He is still using and comes and goes as he pleases. I took him back this fall and the same addictive behavior. Worst. I am in the process of waiting on my retirement and a school… Read more »
I am so […] Tired. My husband’s Drinking is out of Control. For the last 6 months he has been Drunk every […] Day. It’s gotten worse since he has been laid off. I feel like I am drowning. He says the most mean and disgusting things. He says I am the reason he drinks. I am afraid he’s going to drink himself to Death.
I hate when he starts yelling and being mean. I then feed off of his anger and say the most Hurtful things I can think of. I feel so Defeated.
Hi my husband is an alcoholic. He deals with depression and anxiety. I have spent many years making excuses for his behavior, working full time and being both mother and father to our sons. I am becoming tired, weary and especially lonely. Our household is no longer joyful and I feel like a failure because our marriage is falling apart. I am hoping that finding some outside support will allow me to find a way to not blame myself for his drinking and not feel responsible for the decisions he makes. He doesn’t understand that he is missing out on… Read more »
Hi I live with my 12 year old son and my husband that’s an alcoholic, both me and my son are disabled so this makes it harder it’s getting too much to deal with my husband drinking every day 18 cans maybe cider too. I have really bad depression as well as anxiety issue my son’s autism and anxiety to this is getting too much to deal with my husband drinking day in day out. I can’t do this no more. I feel he’s hiding in around house stealing money to buy it, puts cans all over the house it’s… Read more »
I am not sure why I am here but, I trust the person who thinks it may help. My son was an episodic drinker and was dependent on pot for years.
My husband of 28 years is an alcoholic. He is fully functional, a good provider, successful business owner, and thinks he is more fun when he drinks. We have been to different counselors and discussed his drinking problem many times over the past 15 years. At this point in time he does not admit any problem with the amount he drinks, since it’s just beer, and he drinks about 8 beers most nights. I have told him I don’t like his personality when he drinks, and don’t want to be around him, so we don’t sleep together, and don’t have… Read more »
My roommate is an alcoholic. I finally see where I cannot control how much she drinks. I hid it from everyone though I think people suspected it. I didn’t know much about alcoholism since nobody in my immediate family drinks so I didn’t see the signs as troublesome at first. I became resentful over time, and a friend of mine whom I just met told me about Al-Anon, so I attended. I realize that I have to let her do what she does and I have to take care of myself. It’s complicated because I have been a caregiver all… Read more »
My husband is an alcoholic. He has always liked drinking but over the years it has got worse. He used to only drink one night, now every night he drinks to oblivion. He started drinking at 5pm, then 4pm & 1.30. I just saw him open a bottle at 11.30am I’ve tried to discuss this but he’s not interested. I’m at my wits end. He’s not violent but can be sarcastic when he’s been drinking.
This is my first time on this site and I would like to believe a higher power led me to my first step (meeting coming up tomorrow) but I’m struggling between the thought that the drinking will stop and or get better with my husband and the need to control the outcome. I feel exhausted, frustrated, and I’m angry at myself for not having that control to stop it. I need some help and thankfully even though I’m [very] scared to go to the meeting tomorrow I am going to take this first step towards healing and becoming a better… Read more »
I’ve been told by so many people that I need to check into Al-Anon. I’ve been resistant because I was angry that I, ME, the one without the addiction, would be required to do 12 Steps. Why should I have to “be punished”? Well, I am finally open to the idea. So here I am, trying to figure out where to start, which meeting to go to. I am just going to pick one and go. Baby steps… My husband and I have been married 8 years this month. Dated 4 years before that. He’s such a good person. A… Read more »
I have been married for 13 years and dated my husband for 3 years before marriage. In the beginning he drank occasionally but always to excess. He was not mean then and was usually fun. He’s a functioning alcoholic. His drinking progressed over the years until he no longer has a job and has not worked for several years. I have never thought I could make him quit or get better in anyway. I went through therapy many years ago for myself before I met my h husband and I understand I can only work on and be in charge… Read more »
I have been wanting to go to Al-Anon for a long time now. My problem is that my husband usually starts drinking the minute he gets home from work (he hides vodka in garage and drinks it in garage before coming in and thinks I do not know but I do) and he is usually very drunk by 6:30 pm. I have 3 small children and I feel they will not be safe in the home with him drunk. He is not physically abusive but he has been short tempered with them when drunk, and I am always there to… Read more »
I’ve never been to an Al-Anon meeting but I think it might help me. I feel very alone. My son is addicted to drinking and smoking pot. They have a new baby 3 months old and he kicked his girlfriend out with the baby after drinking a bottle. She sat in her car for hours and said she might move out. She smelled like pot last week when I picked her up. My son is 30 and this has been going on to a certain degree for 10 yrs. He is excluding me from his life and saying mean, horrible… Read more »
Hi. My name is Carol and I have been a very grateful and long time member of Al-Anon. I came to Al-Anon to find out how to get my husband, at the time, sober. I wanted desperately to save my marriage and would have done anything to save it. They told me not to make any major decisions in my life for 1 year, that my thinking would change. After 10 months in the program I knew I had to save myself. I kept asking when would I know was the right time to take action. They kept telling me,… Read more »
My fiance and I have been together seven years. He’s an alcoholic and went into rehab a few days ago. The place he went to does family counseling and Al-Anon stuff, but I’m really not interested in this. I don’t want to go to counseling and I don’t want to sit through their “educational classes”. I’m a psychology student and know quite a bit about addiction.
So, how bad is it that I don’t want to do this? I don’t want to be the un-supportive partner, but I seriously just get angry thinking about having to do this stuff.
I recognized my sickness as being codependent. I know it’s time to let the alcoholic do what he’s going to, whether he hits bottom and gets help or not. It’s not my burden to carry anymore.
I suffer from anxiety attacks, I don’t sleep, and I feel sick to my stomach daily. I am stressing my heart, shortening my life, and limiting my quality of life. My kids deserve better.
Al-Anon is the way that I can heal and also help others heal.
My daughter is a 30 year old addict. I love her very much, but her addiction controls our lives. It might be simple to cut her off, but the twist to all this is she has 3 beautiful children, my grandchildren; a 6 year old daugher and twin 19 month old boys, and she lives with me. There are also two different fathers involved, neither of which would be someone who I would want to raise my grandchildren. She lies, she steals money from me, her money “disappears”. I am depressed, and find myself hating to come home from work… Read more »