{"id":38722,"date":"2023-03-15T12:02:50","date_gmt":"2023-03-15T16:02:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.al-anon.org\/?p=38722"},"modified":"2023-03-15T12:02:50","modified_gmt":"2023-03-15T16:02:50","slug":"un-dilemme-le-mariage-avec-un-alcoolique","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging.al-anon.org\/fr\/blog\/un-dilemme-le-mariage-avec-un-alcoolique\/","title":{"rendered":"Un dilemme : le mariage avec un alcoolique"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div><\/div><\/div>

La qualit\u00e9 des relations humaines d\u00e9pend largement de la fa\u00e7on dont nous communiquons entre nous. Non seulement par ce que nous disons, mais de la mani\u00e8re dont nous le disons. Non par ce que nous faisons, mais \u00e0 cause des raisons qui nous motivent. Le ton de la voix et m\u00eame
\nnos plus petits gestes sont des \u00e9l\u00e9ments de communication; beaucoup d\u2019entre nous en sont \u00e0 peine conscients.<\/p>\n

Quand deux personnes mari\u00e9es sont li\u00e9es par l\u2019amour, le respect mutuel et le d\u00e9sir de plaire et d\u2019apporter du bien\u2011\u00eatre \u00e0 l\u2019autre, la communication traduit naturellement l\u2019expression de ces sentiments et donne au mari et \u00e0 la femme une confiance r\u00e9ciproque et un sentiment de s\u00e9curit\u00e9 et de d\u00e9pendance mutuelle.<\/p>\n

Quand les rapports sont fauss\u00e9s par une d\u00e9pendance d\u00e9s\u00e9quilibr\u00e9e, ou par la suspicion, l\u2019hostilit\u00e9, des demandes et des attentes excessives, ces failles se rel\u00e8vent dans leur fa\u00e7on de communiquer.<\/p>\n

Si un homme \u00e9pouse une femme parce qu\u2019il est attir\u00e9 par la chaleur de ses qualit\u00e9s maternelles, comme c\u2019est le cas pour beaucoup d\u2019alcooliques, il est probable qu\u2019il sera le d\u00e9pendant. Et elle, attir\u00e9e vers lui par un d\u00e9sir inconscient de servir de m\u00e8re, sera le membre pragmatique de la famille. L\u2019\u00e9pouse d\u00e9plorera peut\u2011\u00eatre apr\u00e8s coup que son mari a failli \u00e0 son r\u00f4le de chef de famille, inconsciente du fait que c\u2019\u00e9tait elle qui tenait les r\u00eanes et assumait toute la direction. Et pendant qu\u2019elle dirige le mari, les enfants, le m\u00e9nage et les finances, elle est submerg\u00e9e d\u2019apitoiement sur elle\u2011m\u00eame \u00e0 cause du lourd fardeau qu\u2019elle doit porter.<\/p>\n

S\u2019il boit, la surveillance constante et protectrice de sa femme lui \u00e9vite de rechercher de l\u2019aide. Il n\u2019a pas de motivation pour devenir sobre. Elle est convaincue qu\u2019elle agit pour le plus grand bien de son \u00e9poux; elle n\u2019a pas appris, comme elle l\u2019aurait fait dans Al\u2011Anon, qu\u2019en le prot\u00e9geant des cons\u00e9quences de son alcoolisme, elle ne fait que prolonger la dur\u00e9e du mal.<\/p>\n

Quand son mari est ivre, sa r\u00e9action naturelle est de lui reprocher sa conduite et c\u2019est bien le pire moment pour tenter de communiquer avec lui. En fait, cela ne peut que d\u00e9clencher une querelle familiale.<\/p>\n

La situation ne s\u2019am\u00e9liorera probablement pas tant qu\u2019elle n\u2019aura pas appris ce qui n\u2019est pas bien dans sa propre<\/em> attitude et comment se changer elle\u2011m\u00eame<\/em> afin qu\u2019il soit forc\u00e9 de faire face \u00e0 ses responsabilit\u00e9s.<\/p>\n

Si un homme a \u00e9pous\u00e9 une femme parce qu\u2019elle \u00e9tait r\u00e9serv\u00e9e, timide et soumise, il a inconsciemment choisi une \u00e9pouse qui pourrait satisfaire son besoin de domination. Si elle devient alcoolique, il aura la femme compl\u00e8tement d\u00e9pendante qu\u2019il souhaite, peu importe \u00e0 quel point il croit<\/em> d\u00e9sirer qu\u2019elle soit sobre. Il cachera lui aussi le fait qu\u2019elle boit, la prot\u00e9gera contre le m\u00e9pris public et assumera toutes les responsabilit\u00e9s qui devraient \u00eatre celles de l\u2019\u00e9pouse.<\/p>\n

De telles relations d\u00e9form\u00e9es se retrouvent souvent dans un mariage avec un alcoolique. Et elles conduisent in\u00e9vitablement \u00e0 tarir la communication, si vitale \u00e0 un bon mariage.<\/p>\n

Nous pouvons rendre la communication verbale effective si nous ne perdons jamais de vue le fait que l\u2019alcoolique est malade; il est atteint d\u2019une maladie pour laquelle il est injuste de le bl\u00e2mer ou de le punir. Mais on doit lui dire \u2013 avec calme et au bon moment \u2013 ce qu\u2019il a fait et ce qu\u2019il fait encore.<\/p>\n<\/div>

VOUS VOULEZ EN SAVOIR PLUS? TROUVEZ-LE DANS NOTRE MAGASIN<\/span><\/a><\/div>
<\/div><\/div><\/div>
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