{"id":27597,"date":"2020-03-02T15:41:34","date_gmt":"2020-03-02T20:41:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.al-anon.org\/?p=27597"},"modified":"2020-03-02T15:49:49","modified_gmt":"2020-03-02T20:49:49","slug":"aller-de-lavant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging.al-anon.org\/fr\/blog\/aller-de-lavant\/","title":{"rendered":"Aller de l\u2019avant"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"fusion-fullwidth fullwidth-box fusion-builder-row-1 nonhundred-percent-fullwidth non-hundred-percent-height-scrolling\" style=\"--awb-border-radius-top-left:0px;--awb-border-radius-top-right:0px;--awb-border-radius-bottom-right:0px;--awb-border-radius-bottom-left:0px;--awb-padding-top:20px;--awb-padding-bottom:20px;--awb-flex-wrap:wrap;\" ><div class=\"fusion-builder-row fusion-row\"><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-0 fusion_builder_column_1_6 1_6 fusion-one-sixth fusion-column-first\" style=\"--awb-bg-size:cover;width:16.666666666667%;width:calc(16.666666666667% - ( ( 4% + 4% ) * 0.16666666666667 ) );margin-right: 4%;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-flex-column-wrapper-legacy\"><div class=\"fusion-clearfix\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-1 fusion_builder_column_2_3 2_3 fusion-two-third\" style=\"--awb-bg-size:cover;width:66.666666666667%;width:calc(66.666666666667% - ( ( 4% + 4% ) * 0.66666666666667 ) );margin-right: 4%;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-flex-column-wrapper-legacy\"><div class=\"fusion-text fusion-text-1\"><p>J\u2019ai encore souvenir de la peine \u00e9prouv\u00e9e \u00e0 devoir composer avec mon partenaire alcoolique dans le domaine de l\u2019intimit\u00e9. M\u00eame quand \u00e9tait juste \u00e0 c\u00f4t\u00e9 de moi, j\u2019\u00e9tais seule et j\u2019avais le d\u00e9sir ardent d\u2019\u00eatre touch\u00e9e et de ressentir de la chaleur et de l\u2019affection. Les mois passaient et je n\u2019obtenais de lui que de l\u2019indiff\u00e9rence froide. Je ne voulais pas le quitter ou lui \u00eatre infid\u00e8le, mais je ne pouvais pas non plus supporter le vide que je ressentais \u00e0 l\u2019int\u00e9rieur. Chaque fois que j\u2019abordais le sujet, il reculait et disait que j\u2019\u00e9tais peu attirante, grosse, ou tout simplement pas vraiment son type. G\u00e9n\u00e9ralement, il me faisait culpabiliser pour avoir recherch\u00e9 de l\u2019affection en me disant que j\u2019\u00e9tais trop en manque. Je renon\u00e7ais \u00e0 essayer d\u2019\u00e9tablir une connexion plus profonde pendant quelques mois encore, jusqu\u2019\u00e0 ce que mon d\u00e9sir devienne \u00e0 nouveau insupportable. Je pleurais litt\u00e9ralement de frustration.<\/p>\n<p>Ce n\u2019est que beaucoup plus tard que j\u2019ai d\u00e9couvert la r\u00e9alit\u00e9 de la situation. L\u2019alcoolisme lui avait enlev\u00e9 sa capacit\u00e9 de r\u00e9pondre physiquement et, honteux, il s\u2019en prenait \u00e0 moi. Mais \u00e0 cette \u00e9poque-l\u00e0, j\u2019avais d\u00e9j\u00e0 commenc\u00e9 \u00e0 remettre en question ma propre sant\u00e9 mentale. Je me demandais\u00a0: <em>Est-ce que j\u2019en demande vraiment de trop?<\/em> Apr\u00e8s tout, j\u2019avais appris dans Al-Anon qu\u2019une attente est un ressentiment pr\u00e9m\u00e9dit\u00e9.<\/p>\n<p>Avec le temps, toutefois, j\u2019ai r\u00e9alis\u00e9 qu\u2019il \u00e9tait futile de s\u2019attendre \u00e0 ce que cette personne donne quelque chose qu\u2019elle n\u2019avait pas. Cependant, je poursuivais une tentative tout aussi futile en essayant d\u2019apprendre comment \u00eatre heureuse sans amour et sans affection. J\u2019ai appris que mes besoins \u00e9taient l\u00e9gitimes et non d\u00e9raisonnables dans une relation romantique monogame, mais j\u2019ai d\u00fb accepter son choix de ne pas combler ces besoins. Et tant que nous restions ensemble, je n\u2019\u00e9tais pas libre de poursuivre une nouvelle relation qui pourrait mieux r\u00e9pondre \u00e0 ces besoins. En fin de compte, j\u2019ai trouv\u00e9 la s\u00e9r\u00e9nit\u00e9 dont j\u2019avais besoin pour me d\u00e9tacher avec amour et me s\u00e9parer de lui. M\u00eame sa maladie est toujours en phase active, nous restons amis aujourd\u2019hui. Je vois maintenant que c\u2019est probablement tout ce que nous aurions d\u00fb \u00eatre depuis le d\u00e9but.<\/p>\n<p>J\u2019ai finalement rencontr\u00e9 un homme gentil, doux et aimant qui est tout ce que j\u2019esp\u00e9rais. Nous avons d\u00e9cid\u00e9 que l\u2019intimit\u00e9 physique attendrait apr\u00e8s le mariage, et cette d\u00e9cision a permis \u00e0 notre lien \u00e9motionnel et spirituel de s\u2019\u00e9panouir. Quand j\u2019en suis venue \u00e0 croire que je m\u00e9ritais bien plus, cela s\u2019est concr\u00e9tis\u00e9.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><em>Par Autumn A., Maryland<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><em>The Forum, <\/em>janvier 2020<\/p>\n<\/div><div class=\"fusion-clearfix\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-2 fusion_builder_column_1_6 1_6 fusion-one-sixth fusion-column-last\" style=\"--awb-bg-size:cover;width:16.666666666667%;width:calc(16.666666666667% - ( ( 4% + 4% ) * 0.16666666666667 ) );\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-flex-column-wrapper-legacy\"><div class=\"fusion-clearfix\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[347,220,225],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27597","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-le-lien","category-mon-compagnonma-compagne-alcoolique","category-mon-conjointma-conjointe-alcoolique"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - 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