{"id":25435,"date":"2019-07-03T14:32:27","date_gmt":"2019-07-03T18:32:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.al-anon.org\/?p=25435"},"modified":"2020-05-26T08:37:02","modified_gmt":"2020-05-26T12:37:02","slug":"je-croyais-que-je-laidais","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging.al-anon.org\/fr\/blog\/je-croyais-que-je-laidais\/","title":{"rendered":"Je croyais que je l\u2019aidais"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"fusion-fullwidth fullwidth-box fusion-builder-row-1 nonhundred-percent-fullwidth non-hundred-percent-height-scrolling\" style=\"--awb-border-radius-top-left:0px;--awb-border-radius-top-right:0px;--awb-border-radius-bottom-right:0px;--awb-border-radius-bottom-left:0px;--awb-padding-top:20px;--awb-padding-bottom:20px;--awb-flex-wrap:wrap;\" ><div class=\"fusion-builder-row fusion-row\"><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-0 fusion_builder_column_1_6 1_6 fusion-one-sixth fusion-column-first\" style=\"--awb-bg-size:cover;width:16.666666666667%;width:calc(16.666666666667% - ( ( 4% + 4% ) * 0.16666666666667 ) );margin-right: 4%;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-flex-column-wrapper-legacy\"><div class=\"fusion-clearfix\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-1 fusion_builder_column_2_3 2_3 fusion-two-third\" style=\"--awb-bg-size:cover;width:66.666666666667%;width:calc(66.666666666667% - ( ( 4% + 4% ) * 0.66666666666667 ) );margin-right: 4%;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-flex-column-wrapper-legacy\"><div class=\"fusion-text fusion-text-1\"><p>J\u2019ai adh\u00e9r\u00e9 \u00e0 Al\u2011Anon parce que j\u2019avais un enfant alcoolique. Je me sentais malheureux parce que mon fils avait des ennuis et j\u2019\u00e9tais frustr\u00e9 parce que je ne pouvais rien y faire. J\u2019\u00e9tais aussi en col\u00e8re qu\u2019il m\u2019ait menti et ait profit\u00e9 de moi. En tant que p\u00e8re, je me voyais comme la personne qui r\u00e8gle les probl\u00e8mes. Je lui ai donn\u00e9 de la sagesse, je l\u2019ai guid\u00e9, lui ai donn\u00e9 des conseils \u2013 beaucoup, beaucoup de conseils. J\u2019ai minimis\u00e9 les probl\u00e8mes avec humour, je lui ai fourni de l\u2019argent et j\u2019ai montr\u00e9 mon d\u00e9saccord.<\/p>\n<p>Les cons\u00e9quences de mes actions ont mis des obstacles sur son cheminement vers le r\u00e9tablissement parce que mon comportement l\u2019emp\u00eachait de respirer, de faire quelque chose pour s\u2019en sortir lui\u2011m\u00eame et retrouver son estime de soi. Chaque fois qu\u2019il essayait de se reprendre en main, j\u2019\u00e9tais l\u00e0 pour l\u2019aider \u2013 du moins, c\u2019est ce que je croyais \u2013 en lui offrant ce qui me semblait \u00eatre une meilleure solution. Nous avions toujours eu de longues conversations t\u00e9l\u00e9phoniques, qui consistaient pour lui \u00e0 me raconter ses probl\u00e8mes et pour moi \u00e0 lui donner des conseils parce que je savais que, si seulement il voulait bien m\u2019\u00e9couter, tout irait bien. En v\u00e9rit\u00e9, mes conseils, mon argent et ma d\u00e9sapprobation ne faisaient que le blesser. En fait, je lui disais qu\u2019il n\u2019avait pas les comp\u00e9tences n\u00e9cessaires pour prendre ses propres d\u00e9cisions; je le rabaissais, je ne l\u2019aidais pas.<\/p>\n<p>Cependant, en utilisant les outils que j\u2019ai acquis aux r\u00e9unions Al\u2011Anon, j\u2019ai chang\u00e9 la nature de nos conversations. Au lieu de donner des conseils, j\u2019ai fait preuve d\u2019empathie. Au lieu de lui dire quoi faire, je lui ai dit que j\u2019\u00e9tais d\u00e9sol\u00e9 d\u2019apprendre son dernier probl\u00e8me et je l\u2019ai laiss\u00e9 le r\u00e9soudre par lui\u2011m\u00eame. Puis, une chose remarquable s\u2019est produite. Apr\u00e8s plusieurs semaines de conversations, il m\u2019a dit : \u00ab Tu sais, j\u2019aime beaucoup ces discussions que nous avons eues derni\u00e8rement; elles comptent beaucoup pour moi \u00bb.<\/p>\n<p>\u00c0 peu pr\u00e8s \u00e0 la m\u00eame \u00e9poque, il a commenc\u00e9 son propre programme de r\u00e9tablissement. Ma nouvelle approche ne l\u2019a pas fait se r\u00e9tablir ou m\u00eame aid\u00e9 \u00e0 se r\u00e9tablir, mais elle a \u00e9limin\u00e9 certains obstacles que j\u2019avais mis sur son chemin. Essentiellement, mon sc\u00e9nario avait chang\u00e9 et, de ce fait, notre relation avait chang\u00e9. Gr\u00e2ce \u00e0 ce programme, j\u2019ai appris que si je prends soin de moi et que je me traite avec respect, je serai en meilleure position pour aider mon fils d\u2019une mani\u00e8re qui reconna\u00eet qu\u2019il y a une personne r\u00e9elle, une personne aimante, \u00e0 l\u2019int\u00e9rieur de mon fils alcoolique. J\u2019ai finalement r\u00e9alis\u00e9 qu\u2019il est adulte et qu\u2019il a donc le droit de r\u00e9soudre ses propres probl\u00e8mes et de vivre sa propre vie. Le r\u00e9sultat est qu\u2019en plus d\u2019\u00eatre mon fils, il est redevenu un ami proche et tr\u00e8s cher.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\">Par Frank V., New York<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><em>The Forum<\/em>, mars 2019<\/p>\n<\/div><div class=\"fusion-clearfix\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-2 fusion_builder_column_1_6 1_6 fusion-one-sixth fusion-column-last\" style=\"--awb-bg-size:cover;width:16.666666666667%;width:calc(16.666666666667% - ( ( 4% + 4% ) * 0.16666666666667 ) );\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-flex-column-wrapper-legacy\"><div class=\"fusion-clearfix\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[347,222],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25435","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-le-lien","category-mon-enfant-alcoolique"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - 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